Trying out my own gemlog

I am by no means a writer. I may have grown up a native english speaker, but my words don't reflect that. I have always gotten a C or worse in my english classes, and writing essays has always been an arduous task for me. Despite this, I want to write gemlogs. I can't yet articulate why I want to write a blog of sorts, but I think it has something to do with wanting to be a part of the gemispace community.

I've lurked around here for almost 2 years now. I learned about gemini in late 2020 from some random tech youtuber who gave a review for gemini as a replacement to the web. At the time, I was taking a systems programming class where we learned about the kernel and how to interact with it. Our final project was to create an http/1.0 proxy in c. I wished that I could have instead created a gemini proxy instead. After the class, I tried creating my own gemini server. I ended up giving up on it due to scope creep.

I've really enjoyed discovering all the stuff that people have made here. Station is very cool. I've only just recently discovered antenna which has gotten me to go through so many rabbit holes. I feel like it's about time for me to become a part of this community and write about my experiences.

Despite this, I am quite scared of posting my writing. I am worried about what people might think of me--that I'm not good enough, people won't care for what I have to say or possibly worse, people will care about what I have to say. People might start to have expectations of me that I would not be able to provide. Having eyes on me is scary. People will judge me (good or bad) and there is nothing that I can do about it.

While I am worried about creating a gemlog, I think it will be good for me. I shouldn't be scared. My writing is probably not as bad as I think it is and if it is, the quality should improve with time. I hope you will enjoy what I have to offer, and more importantly I hope I won't abandon my gemlog when the going gets tough.